没有如果

人或许是很矛盾的。
总会说：‘ 如果我再选择，那我就会... 。’
我也不例外。
不过，我从很久以前就明白有些事情是没有如果。发生了就是发生了。决定了要这么做，就要承受它所带来的后果。
或许，不该再回头看了。
因为一直回头看也不能改变什么，也只能徒增伤感。
惟有积极面对一切才是唯一的办法。
感情没有如果。
生命也不能如果。
人生一样不能如果。
珍惜眼前的一切，活出自己，活在当下，才是最上乘的生活态度。

差不多2个月前，淑芳传了一则短讯告诉我，我们的一位高中同学因为癌症去世了。虽然我和那位同学同班了2年，不是很熟络，但是，听到这消息，心里感到很沉重，也伤心了好一阵子。 曾经幻想过十年后再与高中的同学们重逢的情景，我想大家都过得很好，也许单身，也许结婚了，也许有自己的事业，也许有自己的小孩了，但是，我从来没想过会听到这事情。我不太懂她是否认为解脱了。只是我认为她一定能在另一个世界过得很好因为她不会再感到痛苦。但愿她安息，也希望她的家人不要太伤心。善良和开朗的她一定希望疼爱她的家人们不要再为她难过了。她永远都会在我们的心里。

近来不懂为什么，总觉得周围有蛮多的事情困扰着我。
这一切让我突然有很多的想法，也冲击着我一直以来的想法。
平常不太在乎的东西突然间觉得自己还蛮在乎。
好姐妹们都觉得我对某些事情还蛮悲观，或许是性格使然。
我本来就多愁善感。
或许是时候改变一下。也或许也改变不了。
我对感情和婚姻没有抱什么希望。
姐妹们认为：-
1）我一定心里有阴影。有一点。
2）我爱自己甚于爱别人。这我就不能太确定。如果不能选择，我还是会宁愿选一位我喜欢他多过他喜欢我的人。
3）对别人很酷和静，‘冷走’很多人。好吧！我承认我是很慢热的人。我甚少主动去认识新的朋友。可是，只要认识我久了，都懂我是很多话的人。只是，我是爱恨分明的人。我不会假装喜欢一个我不喜欢的人。不过，我还是认为世界上有很多事情都会有灰色地带，不是只有黑和白。
4）单身的原因。没什么特别的原因。就是还没遇见那个他。我也没设定什么条件。一切凭感觉和当时的想法。很任性，但是，也最真实。


近来，发觉一些以前很要好的朋友们，已经离我越来越远。
我曾经尝试寻找一些话题，但是还是觉得有点格格不入。
其实我觉得没什么奇怪和伤心。
在某些阶段，就会有某一些特别要好的朋友。
友情淡了，不需太介怀。
很感谢他们曾经出现在我的生命。
不得不承认，我感到一丝丝感慨。

我想近来压力很大。总觉得时间太少，要做的东西很多。
课业上的沉重压力快要把我压得透不过气。
很多东西要读，但是进展就是很慢。时常感到很累，又想让自己多一点读书，真的是力不从心。
我已经很久没看连续剧了，快要4个月吧！
日语和韩语课因为实在拨不出时间而作罢将近一年。很想念学习外文的快乐。
放弃了玩面子书的游戏，也越来越少花时间看书了。最后一次悠闲的看书已经是2个月前的事情了。
另一方面，我又在周末做兼职。
考完试后，我一定让自己休息几天。不需要去哪里，只需要静静地渡过，做自己喜欢的事就好。
还有4个月就考试，该好好专心了。
或许你会质疑和不明白为什么我那么的紧张。我只能说只有身在其中就会明白那种恐怖的压力。5月就是我们最感到压力的时候。
我念的是伦敦大学外校的法律课程。虽然我在私人学院念书，但是，我的考卷完全是由伦敦大学的教授批改，分数也全由他们决定。最致命的一点是，那个考试只有一年一次。错过了或其中一科不及格，你都得等一年，无情可说。我试过，所以就很害怕。

好了，烦恼的事就暂时抛开。
或许我又会有一段时间不会写部落格。不过，还是希望可以常写。尽量不写担心课业的事。我也不想在这传播负面的情绪。
感恩所拥有的事情。少一点抱怨，少一点贪心，多一点关心家人，朋友和身边的人，世界会变得更美好（其实是要提醒自己）。还有，祝我爸生日快乐。谢谢你的谅解因为我的任性时常令你措手不及。希望你健康和快乐。

这次是我第一次写比较私人的事情，也是最后一次吧。
觉得怪怪的。我甚少在部落格写自己的内心想法。

deactivated

For those that i did not inform, in fact i only told 4 persons, i had deactivated my account in facebook 2 weeks ago. I have the sudden urge to do so but not the reason that it affects my studies. it won't & never as i am not really an avid user of facebook. so, if you have anything to look for me, do call me or text me or e-mail or msn to me. Those i know will definitely have my hp numbers or e-mail or msn. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. thank you:)


love,
PeiLin

hello 2011

Happy New Year everyone!!!=)
Bye 2010, embrace 2011.
New year, new start.
2010 is a bitter, sweet & sour year for me.
Lots of things happened but i try to overcome when the worst comes towards me like tsunami.
whether it is good or bad, every incident is like a lesson for me.
I am being more mature & accept the reality.
someone make me so bitter & sour.
but it ended the moment i steps into 2011.
bye that someone.
i make some new resolutions which i intend to achieve them definitely.
wish everyone dreams come true.

break the promise

The title is so serious.
Anyway, it is just that i have to break my promise to blog more often as i mentioned in my previous post.
Not that i am lazy.
It's because i'm really lack of idea to write.
It will be boring to the max if i just blog about my life which is quite mundane.
So, i feel so sorry to say 'bye' to my blog temporarily until i can write again with something meaningful yet readable.
Thanks for those who read my blog all the while.
I will not disappoint all of you when i'm back & i promise i will write something good.
all the best everyone & bye!

Say 'hi' to my blog.
it had been such a long time that i am never ever think of blogging.
It is kinda i lost the passion of writing at all.
Please don't ask me why.
The reason is unclear.

Will start new sem next wed. Hopefully, it will be a good start.
I'll study with all my heart. Sounds serious but it is true indeed.
My aim is to get second upper for all subjects.
I know it will be so difficult but i want to come out from my comfort zone.
It's enough for me being not so me.
I saw this phrase from somewhere- great mind thinks alike.
I love this phrase so much & i can't agree with it more.

There is still a very long journey for me.
I might be slow & take more time to complete compared to others but i won't mind the ways people are going to judge at me.
It is so tiring to live under what people are expecting on me.
I just want to live the way that i expect from myself.
need to put a full stop for this topic.

recently, i am 'addicted' to the books written by Jodi Picoult. They are so mind-blowing. Lots of conflicts in the story which make me think a lot in different issues. I have a better outlook on those issues. Perhaps i shall share those issues which are so debatable when i want to do so. I will be reading the lost symbol by Dan Brown next:) can't wait to turn on the first page.

Okie. will write soon if i can. will try to write more often.
Life is great for me though:)
Nothing more i can demand.
Feel so thankful for what i have now!

wish everyone will be alright with their life^^
wish mei chi can secure a job soon.
wish i can meet ei mun next time cos i always miss the chance to meet with her. at least i do not see her in real for more than 2 years. Guess we will be so much different now.
wish kai xin will be going to recover soon.

Ciao.

Hello, everyone!
I am back here again:)
Finally, i can say bye to exam temporarily.
Having a 3-month-break now.
Will write more if i can write something.
Nothing in mind now that can make me write.
At this moment, life is good.
Hope everyone are blessed with great life as i am.

Dormant

I will temporarily stop from blogging for an indefinite period due to some personal reasons.
Honestly, i have no idea when i will return to blog again.
Perhaps when i think it is time to do so, i will continue my interest in writing.
Thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog:)