Have anyone of you being abandoned by other? I experienced that kind of feeling today. It might be not a very big and important matter but at that very moment, i felt that i was being abandoned. Maybe i am a sensitive person. Being abandoned and forgot by others make me feel so afraid and sad. So, i will always remind myself that i will not ever abandon others. It is very bad to do so. Though the people who abandoned called me later, i still feel that i don't want to talk much with her. I can forgive her but not forget the incident that i have been through. I don't really want to write about the whole story about that incident. It is not that i don't want to share but i think since it is an unpleasant thing, i will just let it be.
My parents, popo, sis and little bro will come either tomorrow or thursday. Hope that i can see them very soon. Dad will take along all my text books and materials from UOL. It will be easier for me next time to do any reference or revision. Besides that, i think of persuading my dad to give me a sub-card from his credit card. The credit card serves me with the correct purpose such as paying school fee. I am not going to use it to shop but i just need it for emergency use. I think i need it and i will use it in a proper way. Hopefully, my dad will promise me about that.
Anyway, stay happy & cheerful ya ^^ have to start doing piles of assignments which will drive me crazy. Jia You!
Tuesday, 30 September 2008
Monday, 29 September 2008
Happy Belated Birthday
Yesterday, 28th of Sept was my birthday. Happy Belated Birthday to myself. I want to share my feelings being 21st on that day but i was in my auntie's house that time. I didn't have fancy and big celebration for my 21st as people will usually celebrate it by having a party and their parents will give them a "key" as freedom. Anyway, i didn't have both because my family doesn't has such traditions and even my sis was not celebrating that time. Frankly, this year is my quietest birthday in my entire life. I don't even receive any birthday presents at all. I don't even celebrate with friends. I don't even have a proper cake. 21st to me is just as a usual day & i think i won't remember my birthday if i didn't receive any sms from friends and family members and my dearest auntie keep telling me. I dislike being grown up. More responsibility & commitment to bear with. Anyway, i hope to graduate soon with flying colours as i want to financial independent.
Thanks a lot to my dearest anutie. My auntie celebrated my birthday with me on saturday and sunday by giving me treats. On saturday, we had decent meal at Nam Xiang which oiginated from Shanghai. It was all Shanghai cuisine. The foods are nice & the chinese tea is very fragrant. Next day, we had dinner at sakae sushi in the curve. Frankly, it is not delicious at all. The foods are so so and i think it is not deserve with that price. I am disappointed with the foods there and i don't think i will go there again. Later, my brother and mika gave me a treat in starbucks for a slice of cake, espresso tiramisu. The cake is really nice. I love it so much.
21st will be my starting point and my starting of 21 years old. 21st....i have lots of dreams that i want to fulfill. I want to chase and being successfully in pursuing my dreams. I am eagerly to live my life to fullest and i will live out of my comfort zone & think out of the box. I want to live with my own identity. I just want to be myself. I am who i am. Let me just be myself and have a life that i wanted. The job is good prospectus with high paid, all my family members will live a happy & healthy life, backpacking, learning more foreign languages, be good to myself, pass my exams with flying colours, etc.....
That day, i read a chinese magazine, citta bella. Sammi Cheng became the front cover and there is an interview with her. What she said is meaningful. When we chase of money and power, we will get tired one day. One day, she decided to let go of her fame by leaving the entertainment industry some time. She want to find out that other than money and power, what will she left with herself. Is it just a body? she think that mental fulfillness ( feel contented with yourself) is more important. I do agree with her in certain extent. When we are in the process of chasing the material fullfillment such as money, branded things, etc, we willl feel our heart is full with emptiness. So, it is better for us to find a balance between material and mental fullfillment. Yeap! it is hard to do so, but , we should try to be not over chasing material fullfillment. Another statement that said by Jet Li. It is meaningful. >>>“我们出世时光着身子，却紧握拳头大声哭泣。哭什么呢？我们什么都要，要快乐、钱、权利、声誉。可是死的时候，我们同样光着身子，但手是张开的，把一切归还世界。在这过程中，人们以为拥有了生命，但其实只是暫时保管，你最后还是得归还。” I am not promoting that money is not important at all but i will conclude that money is important but not more important than your very own happiness except that you feel money is the fundamental of your happiness. I think that the person who use money to built their own happiness are very pity. They just keep on thinking money and they can't live without money in their brain.
Thanks a lot to my dearest anutie. My auntie celebrated my birthday with me on saturday and sunday by giving me treats. On saturday, we had decent meal at Nam Xiang which oiginated from Shanghai. It was all Shanghai cuisine. The foods are nice & the chinese tea is very fragrant. Next day, we had dinner at sakae sushi in the curve. Frankly, it is not delicious at all. The foods are so so and i think it is not deserve with that price. I am disappointed with the foods there and i don't think i will go there again. Later, my brother and mika gave me a treat in starbucks for a slice of cake, espresso tiramisu. The cake is really nice. I love it so much.
21st will be my starting point and my starting of 21 years old. 21st....i have lots of dreams that i want to fulfill. I want to chase and being successfully in pursuing my dreams. I am eagerly to live my life to fullest and i will live out of my comfort zone & think out of the box. I want to live with my own identity. I just want to be myself. I am who i am. Let me just be myself and have a life that i wanted. The job is good prospectus with high paid, all my family members will live a happy & healthy life, backpacking, learning more foreign languages, be good to myself, pass my exams with flying colours, etc.....
That day, i read a chinese magazine, citta bella. Sammi Cheng became the front cover and there is an interview with her. What she said is meaningful. When we chase of money and power, we will get tired one day. One day, she decided to let go of her fame by leaving the entertainment industry some time. She want to find out that other than money and power, what will she left with herself. Is it just a body? she think that mental fulfillness ( feel contented with yourself) is more important. I do agree with her in certain extent. When we are in the process of chasing the material fullfillment such as money, branded things, etc, we willl feel our heart is full with emptiness. So, it is better for us to find a balance between material and mental fullfillment. Yeap! it is hard to do so, but , we should try to be not over chasing material fullfillment. Another statement that said by Jet Li. It is meaningful. >>>“我们出世时光着身子，却紧握拳头大声哭泣。哭什么呢？我们什么都要，要快乐、钱、权利、声誉。可是死的时候，我们同样光着身子，但手是张开的，把一切归还世界。在这过程中，人们以为拥有了生命，但其实只是暫时保管，你最后还是得归还。” I am not promoting that money is not important at all but i will conclude that money is important but not more important than your very own happiness except that you feel money is the fundamental of your happiness. I think that the person who use money to built their own happiness are very pity. They just keep on thinking money and they can't live without money in their brain.
Friday, 26 September 2008
Lousy KTM system
I took KTM today and i nearly get mad. I am not intenting to talk bad mouth or affect the reputation of the train system but it is too lousy and bad that i can't bear with it. Those who are taking and had been taking the train before will surely knew about it. I waited nearly 1 hour at Subang Jaya station. Then, i transfer in KL sentral where i have to wait 3o minutes for another train to back home. It really make me feel so frustrated. The trains were packed with lots of people. I just can stand still and i just stepped on the floor with 1 leg. I am quite sure that i won't fall down as i can't even move and all of us just stick together without any spaces. I am not exagerating but this is truth.
Yesterday, the train was also late. I waited for 40 minutes for the train. I purposely waited earlier for the train. However, i ended up late too. Feel so uneasy as i have been late for my appointment with my Japanese teacher. I knew most of the japanese are very punctual. My teacher had waited me for 15 minutes. Feel really sorry to her.
The government is encouraging us to take public transports instead of using cars. However, the public transports still do not improve much. So, how can the policy attracted people to take public transport? If i have the choice, i surely won't take it due to various reasons---Too pack, not punctual, inconvenient, etc. Hope there are some improvements in the public transports soon.
Yesterday, the train was also late. I waited for 40 minutes for the train. I purposely waited earlier for the train. However, i ended up late too. Feel so uneasy as i have been late for my appointment with my Japanese teacher. I knew most of the japanese are very punctual. My teacher had waited me for 15 minutes. Feel really sorry to her.
The government is encouraging us to take public transports instead of using cars. However, the public transports still do not improve much. So, how can the policy attracted people to take public transport? If i have the choice, i surely won't take it due to various reasons---Too pack, not punctual, inconvenient, etc. Hope there are some improvements in the public transports soon.
nice meet
Today, i met elena and christina at Sunway Pyramid. It is really such a happy gathering with them. When they reached, we went to KFC to have our brunch. We ate sandwich there. Quite a nice meal but i think the bread is not as nice and fragrant compared to subway. By the way, i love having sandwich in subway. It is one of my favourites. We chit-chatted a lot. Later, we went to ice-skating. This is my 1st time to have ice skate. I am really a slow learner and i still can't ski well but at least i did manage to ski. Thanks a lot to Christina and elena for being good teachers of mine. Thanks a lot for holding my hands tight when i nearly fall down. Thanks a lot for being there to teach me patiently. Both of you are really sweet and nice friends ^^ I treasure our friendship very much. Elena will be back to Australia next thursday morning. Think of being there to bade her farewell. i will consider about it. She will not come back next year and i will surely miss her. Though Christina is in KL, i will miss her as well :)
Today is Tze Yan's birthday. Happy Birthday to you and all the best to you.
Today is Tze Yan's birthday. Happy Birthday to you and all the best to you.
Thursday, 25 September 2008
1 week break
I started my holiday now. It will be around 10 days counting from tomorrow. However, it will be worst than school days. A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS are waiting for me to finish and i don't even start any. I am afraid i can't finish them since there are a lot. I don't like to do assignments and that's one of the reasons i chose this program but it ends out with tonnes of assignments. I am not joking but there are assignments from 5 subjects out of 6 subjects that i have taken. Each subject has a few assignments. It really drives me crazy with all the assignments.
I will meet elena and christina tomorrow in Sunway pyramid. Glad to meet them since i do not meet them for such a long time. Ei Mun will be back in UK tonight. Have a safe journey and all the best to her. Don't forget our backpacking next year. I really look forward about it.
Tired and i still feel not really well. I have to sleep earlier. NitezzZZZ and sweet dreams :)
I will meet elena and christina tomorrow in Sunway pyramid. Glad to meet them since i do not meet them for such a long time. Ei Mun will be back in UK tonight. Have a safe journey and all the best to her. Don't forget our backpacking next year. I really look forward about it.
Tired and i still feel not really well. I have to sleep earlier. NitezzZZZ and sweet dreams :)
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
better
I am feeling better today. Frankly, part of it because i have think of the solution. Another part of it because i ate quite a lot of sweet things today. I ate 2 ice-cream today. I knew it will put on weight but i just can't resist to have something sweet to get rid of my bad mood. I feel so contented after eating the ice-cream. Whenever i feel really bad mood, i will eat something that i like, especially ice-cream. Though it is fattening and i am fat enough, i just need it. I have reduce the amount of eating ice-cream. Those who knew me well will know that i like to eat ice-cream, cakes and chocolate. I think they are the main factors that i am fat. I don't eat much on foods but i like these unhealthy foods or i am craze with them. Class for today also ended a little earlier and i went home earlier. hooray!
I think i will control my feeling or emotion better next time. This time, i think i have improved a lot. At least, i just feel moody for 3 days. It can consider not bad. I used to quite a long time if i face this type of situation.
I am reading Asia journal. It is publishing weekly and i like to read it because this is the only magazine or the only source that improve and maintain my standard of mandarin. I seldom read local newspaper but i will make myself to read it online if i can. The title for this week is the poison milk powder issue in China. My feeling is complicated after i read the articles. Feel angry and sad. Angry because of the businessmen are very selfish and greedy. They added the hazardous chemical things inside the milk powder. Do they ever think of social responsibility? I knew they need to earn money but they shall also think of the safety of the babies who consume the milk. Babies are so naive and the only food they have is milk. They can't protect themselves but they are drinking poisonous milk. The businessmen or the manufacturers are like murderers who kill the babies slowly. The government also need to take stern action against the heartless and cruel manufacturers. They shall have moral conscience. Feel sad for the parents. They bought the milk powder with their hard-earned money but ends up the milk they fed to their babies are harmful. The health of the babies are affected adversely. I think the parents won't think of the milk will cause their babies a lot of problems. There are still quite a huge number of poor people in China where they can't afford to buy foreign brand milk powder for their babies. How would they feed their babies? I really wander. Really pray hard for the babies and their parents. I think it is the saddest thing for the parents if their children have occur any problems. They will be very worried. All the parents in the world love their children very much. They will sacrify anything for the sake of their children.
It is an emotional post but bear with me. I really can't stand on it if i keep quiet.
I think i will control my feeling or emotion better next time. This time, i think i have improved a lot. At least, i just feel moody for 3 days. It can consider not bad. I used to quite a long time if i face this type of situation.
I am reading Asia journal. It is publishing weekly and i like to read it because this is the only magazine or the only source that improve and maintain my standard of mandarin. I seldom read local newspaper but i will make myself to read it online if i can. The title for this week is the poison milk powder issue in China. My feeling is complicated after i read the articles. Feel angry and sad. Angry because of the businessmen are very selfish and greedy. They added the hazardous chemical things inside the milk powder. Do they ever think of social responsibility? I knew they need to earn money but they shall also think of the safety of the babies who consume the milk. Babies are so naive and the only food they have is milk. They can't protect themselves but they are drinking poisonous milk. The businessmen or the manufacturers are like murderers who kill the babies slowly. The government also need to take stern action against the heartless and cruel manufacturers. They shall have moral conscience. Feel sad for the parents. They bought the milk powder with their hard-earned money but ends up the milk they fed to their babies are harmful. The health of the babies are affected adversely. I think the parents won't think of the milk will cause their babies a lot of problems. There are still quite a huge number of poor people in China where they can't afford to buy foreign brand milk powder for their babies. How would they feed their babies? I really wander. Really pray hard for the babies and their parents. I think it is the saddest thing for the parents if their children have occur any problems. They will be very worried. All the parents in the world love their children very much. They will sacrify anything for the sake of their children.
It is an emotional post but bear with me. I really can't stand on it if i keep quiet.
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
confusing
What am i confusing about? Actually, it is not a really big thing but it just keep on in my mind. I can't even concentrate to do my assignments. I have to keep on playing music with my laptop. I need some sounds and the songs which help me to ease my complicated feelings. I thought that scar is completely recover but just find out that it is still bleeding. I thought that i am totally recover but now it really tear me apart. Actually, i keep on telling myself not to think of it but the thing naturally pop up from my mind. I purposely made myself busy doing some revision but it didn't work. I try to control myself but still can't. I know i can't be like these anymore. God, please help me to just fully concentrate on my studies. I don't even want to be such moody because of these matter. Haiz...I shall and must not think of it again. I think i will use an excuse not to go out on that day. If not, i will be moody again because of this. I have work very hard to forget but i can't. Feel like crying. I don't like to cry since i was small but i just have this type of feeling now. Am i insane for behaving weird? I knew at this moment, i am.
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