confusing

What am i confusing about? Actually, it is not a really big thing but it just keep on in my mind. I can't even concentrate to do my assignments. I have to keep on playing music with my laptop. I need some sounds and the songs which help me to ease my complicated feelings. I thought that scar is completely recover but just find out that it is still bleeding. I thought that i am totally recover but now it really tear me apart. Actually, i keep on telling myself not to think of it but the thing naturally pop up from my mind. I purposely made myself busy doing some revision but it didn't work. I try to control myself but still can't. I know i can't be like these anymore. God, please help me to just fully concentrate on my studies. I don't even want to be such moody because of these matter. Haiz...I shall and must not think of it again. I think i will use an excuse not to go out on that day. If not, i will be moody again because of this. I have work very hard to forget but i can't. Feel like crying. I don't like to cry since i was small but i just have this type of feeling now. Am i insane for behaving weird? I knew at this moment, i am.